Living in Fast Forward

When I was a teen, one of my best friends had a single mom who was the coolest, most fun person I knew. Wendy did all the fun things - and hosted all the funnest parties - and treated all her son's friends with respect. We all loved her. She was fun, but she was also always running ragged. If we were to be picked up after the movie - she was late...if we were going to be meeting for dinner - we'd all end up pitching in a eating at 8. She forgot details, she missed appointments, but she always meant well. Together, her son and I would look at each other, roll our eyes and think "we will NEVER be like that"

Well.... fast forward nearly 17 years - and here I am - just like her. Living IN fast forward. So much to do, so little time to do it. Good intentions... best laid plans...and all. I forget, I get confused, I end up leaving people in a lurch... but always meaning the best. How does one apologize for being an idiot? I wish I could just be ignorant of this terrible problem I have. Then I could merrily go about my way, oblivious to whom I have disappointed, or what I have forgotten.

I wonder what my friends and children think of me. Are they rolling their eyes thinking that this is just the WAY I am? That this is WHO I am? I really am not - but am stuck in this Fast Forward mode and dog gone it - I can't even stop long enough to make it right. Because as soon as I have decided that things are going to be different, and that I am going to take control of this life of mine - something interrupts me, and I forget what I was just doing.... Grrrrr... Maybe someone should just take out my batteries.

Living All Out

When my kids were very young, their dad would often have them stand on an elevated stair, or the side of the pool. As they balanced their precariously above him, he would tell them - "Jump! I'll catch you!" Everytime, they would stop, size him up - consider carefully - then gather their courage and make the leap - propelling themselves into the air, to be caught safely in their daddy's arms. Never once did he drop them - and never once did they refuse to jump.

I realize now what an important exercise this was for them. They put their complete trust in their daddy - knowing that he was strong, and that he would never let them down.

I think that in today's society, complete trust is very hard to come by. People disappoint, circumstances falter - things change. And there is a very heavy emphasis today that the only person you can truly depend on is yourself. For this reason, marriages fail, friendships break, and children stop speaking to their parents.

I don't disagree that it is risky to put a lot of faith into people. I know that I have let people down by my forgetfulness, or by not making things enough of a priority. And I know that I have been let down as well - sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. But, knowing whom you put your trust into is important. Knowing if the person is reliable, honest, and stands by what he says gives weight to his reliability ratio.

Is there a person worth throwing yourself off the stairs for? Is there someone that will 100% of the time, catch you and keep you safe? Not on this earth, I don't think. People are fallible. However, God is infallible. He is EXACTLY what He says he is - perfectly loving, perfectly just, perfectly righteous, perfectly worthy of trust.

Giving up our own hang ups of trust - and living by faith - putting our complete well being into the hands of the only One who is truly strong enough to handle it - is so much better than trying to manage it on our own.

Fight the Good Fight

My husband always gives me a hard time because I am a "peacemaker". This would be in contrast to his rather abrupt and upfront methods of dealing with any particular issue - be it the slow old lady driving her car ahead, or the errant child, or the situation with the neighbor. (He's really not THAT bad, but I have to draw the contrast!).

This would probably come as a shock to my brother. He's 2 1/2 years younger than me, and frankly, we were really good at fighting when we were young. He knew my buttons, and I knew how to react. His quite tactics and my big mouth got both of us into a good bit of trouble for quite a few years.

Now that I am older, fighting has taken on a whole new meaning. Now I fight to get rid of my extra weight, I fight to keep the house clean, I fight to stay awake.

There is a verse in the Bible that states "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" Now this is the kind of fighting worth the effort. And it does take effort.

Another Bible verse says "Fight the good fight for the faith. Keep holding on to eternal life, to which you were called and about which you gave a good testimony in front of many witnesses." (1 Tim. 6:12)

Pondering what it means to fight the good fight brings about a couple of thoughts for me. Lately, life has been hard for me. Work saps me of my energy, there are alot of challenges in my day that take too much of my attention, that frankly don't deserve all the effort they demand. Things don't seem to fall together easily - or even somewhat agreeably. My budget is stretched, and there just isn't any good news on the news these days. All of this STUFF can really bring a girl down! Yet, I am encouraged to count it all joy when I face trials of many kinds.. So how do I do this -how do I fight the downward pull that would take me into discouragement, and depression? How do I choose joy in the midst of trial? By fighting the good fight!

But HOW? Last night, as the 4th thing in a row went wrong, I was able to stop, and with two very good friends, pray. And God brought to my mind Ephesians 6 - "Put on the full armour of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil... " The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the sword of the Spirit, the Shield of faith - and feet shod with the preparation of the Gospel of Peace.

Life was never promised to be easy - however, God has promised to give us every tool to be victorious thorugh His Son Jesus Christ. And it isn't my effort that this is dependent on, but rather my dependence on God to fight this battle for/through me.

So I'm gearing up - and getting ready for the fight. I really don't expect things to be easy, but I do plan on being victorious!

Soaking it all in

My mom occasionally used sponges in her kitchen when I was growing up. Every now and again they would dry out and be as tough and unbendable as a brick. In fact, I'm sure I used one as a weapon against my poor brother more than once.

But once that old nasty dry sponge touched water, they would spring to life. Soft, Supple and Useful.

I occasionally find myself feeling rather dry. With this dryness comes a rather dull outlook on life. Nothing is as wonderful as it once was, and life is bland. I begin to long for something to revive me and to bring colour back into what has been fading into sepia colours.

How blessed I was to be invited to Germany with David for a 5th year anniversary of our plastic card printer supplier, Digital Identification Solution. David is not a big traveller, and he doesn't share my lust for adventure, but just the thought of seeing a place I'd never been was enough to
get my feet itching to go.

It was 5 days of interesting people, new landscapes (so much like back home in Oregon!), ancient buildings and stories from hundreds of years ago!



I felt like a kid in an amusement park - all wide eyed and in wonder. The people, who were from all over the world, were open and interesting to talk to; the land was lush and green, the air crisp and cold; the rich history of the places we visited gave me such a sense of smallness - realizing that so much has happened before us - things that were so monumental - and yet time just carried on - and there are now only stories and relics to remember it by.

It was enough to recharge my adventure batteries, and even David remarked that if "this" was traveling then he rather enjoyed it!

No more a dry brick, I'm now ready to do and be all that I need to do and be!

A Season of Change

I have always most loved the changing of the seasons - mostly the transitional seasons - Spring and Fall. Summer and Winter each has it's own special character, but there is just something tantalizing about the seasons that "get" you there. Spring has that quiet awakening - when the birds suddenly start to sing again, the blossoms that suddenly dot the previously dead looking branches in my garden. And fall has it's own unique beauty, but perhaps a little more forboding. Not so much promise, but perhaps a bit of warning. The leaves, while beautiful and entertaining as they dance down the streets in a symphony of their own making - warn of the pending weather, where all that is green and lush will be no more - at least for a time.

Our lives are constantly changing seasons, aren't they? First, there's the spring of life, when all is new and alive... then later, when the children have arrived to add spice and energy, we settle into the summer. Then eventually, we enter autumn - still beautiful, but somehow less full of energy and vivacious life. And of course winter...but I'll save that for another time.

I think our life, David's and mine, has just begun to enter the autumn phase - one of those transitional stages, that has something worth savoring, yet brings about a contemplation of what is ahead. This was all triggered at the beginning of the year when our eldest headed off for University. She took a very trendy "gap year", so I suppose I was granted a small reprieve in entering this stage. But off she went, and for at least 5 days a week, our house was a bit emptier.
Then, as we saw her friendship with a handsome young man blossom, we prepared ourselves for what we knew would be coming.. and at last it has... an engagement to be wed. And this in the not too distant future! Now there is talk dancing around me from some perhaps not so well meaning friends and family - of grandchildren and such! Me, who has only found 1 gray hair on my head, is now being faced with the possibility of being called "Grandma" in the years just ahead. Now I understand how my mother felt as I walked down the aisle, when she herself had just entered her 40's.

I find myself becoming all sentimental - like that young girl who, when trodding off to her first day of school in the fall, would reminisce over the summer just spent - glamourizing it, and relishing in it - making it the lovely hazy memory that one sees on the movie screen, and perhaps dreading the winter ahead just a bit - knowing that there were things ahead that weren't necessarily exciting or worth looking forward to.

As I said, I do love the fall - and while I know that winter lies ahead, I must say that I am rather enjoying the dancing of the leaves, so to speak - and the joy and love that my daughter has found. Being able to share with her in this new stage of life for her is, I suppose all part of the circle that is life - and I am going to choose to focus on those things today that are worth admiring and enjoying, and not worry so much about the winter that is pending - not too close, but ahead none the less.

A Brainstorm!

What is it about collaborating with people over ideas that is so invigorating?
Lately, I've been blessed by opportunities to explore ideas with people who have really supercharged my enthusiasm and creativity.

A month ago, while I was visiting my family in Florida, Al, my brother in law and I had opportunities in the evenings to brainstorm ideas for both his business and mine. It was something of a give and take that got both of our heads buzzing with ideas -maybe more than either of us will ever be able to implement, but it was energizing!

And of course, there is the creative side as well - spending time with people who have ideas and share them freely - that get's my creative juices flowing and makes me want to move! Do something fun! Make something mundane beautiful!

David and I have great brainstorming sessions. His and mine, however are more problem solving, than inspiring. This is just as important. Almost a working out the details of our dreams... a putting foot to what was ethereal and aloof. These make me feel like I'm putting my shoulder to the grindstone, so to speak, in order to accomplish these things we dream of.

It is so important to have people in your life who inspire you, who challenge you, and who help you to accomplish what you dream of - giving you the courage to do what you dream of.

Thanks to all my family and friends who are my brainstorming partners! I'm blessed to have you in my life!