It's been quite some time since I last updated this blog... so many in fact, that I'm sure any who read it have long since given up on me.
However, my purpose in writing here wasn't as much for others, but for me to document what I have experience, to note what God has taught me, and to ponder things that are new to my understanding.
Some parts of my life are still the same - I am still working as a business partner to my husband, I am still living in South Africa, and I am still amazed at what God is doing.
However, time has marched on and life has unfolded some adventures even more challenging than relocating to a new country. Life isn't coloured the same as it was 3 years ago - it is now much brighter and more focused.
Most recently, I have had quite a health scare. David and I immediately felt that God was working in and through it, and we lived it rather publically on facebook and in our church. The love, prayers and support we felt were overwhelming.
Rather than re-write, I will instead post what was posted on my facebook page during the event. It's a condensed version, but still a little bit of a read (you've been warned :) )
Trying to figure out why cancer?.
I think it must be human nature to want to know why. It isn't a spiritual search I am on - I am comfortable with the truth's I have learned in my years following Jesus that my life is in His hands, and He loves me deeply. Spiritually, there is a deeper purpose. I do realize that the spiritual and physical have an overlap, however. When I consider that I have three beautful girls and a handsome son who will one day have their own children, I am looking as to what put me at risk for ovarian cancer in order to protect them.
I cannot say I have really found an answer.
Which makes me want to stand like a preacher from days of old and warn women of how this cancer can sneak up unannounced, or as in my case disguised as a common complaint - and slap you like a wet fish across the face.
As I posted previously, I have NONE of the risk factors (see http://www.ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/menu_understanding.cfm for more info) In addition, cases of ovarian cancer are on the rise.
In my case, I had a hysterectomy in 2003 due to fibroid tumors. Because I was only 34, the doctor felt it best to leave behind my cervix and my one healthy ovary. It is from this lonesome ovary that the cancer started.
In 2007 I was diagnosed with probable IBS ( irritable bowel syndrome, or spastic colon as it is commonly called in South Africa). My symptoms? constipation, tenderness, bloatedness . Guess what the symptoms of ovarian cancer are?
I had a full barium x-ray done to confirm the diagnosis, and because the dr found diverticulitis polyps on my colon, he felt sure that this was the problem. An easy answer.. and he didn't think or know to look further.
It was only on a standard GYN visit, with a complaint about tenderness on my abdomen (which I had been accounting to the IBS for 2 years) that my new doctor raised her eyebrows and started the chain of events that we have experienced this week.
I do not have any "if onlys" or "what ifs". As I said, there is an overlap between the spiritual and physical.However for the sake of my beloved family and friends, I do want to grasp how this disease happens, and as it is a silent killer, want to raise the warning to all I love to please, please take an hour out of your year - go to the doctor and ask for the pelvic exam which will alert the doctor if there is a problem.
I am praying we have caught mine in time. We will only know next week, but I have heard and read stories of women who didn't know they had it until it ruptured. It's a sneaky disease, but not completely undetectable. Because I love you, please go check.
Healed!
I am breathless. and humbled. and oh so thankful! The God of the universe has chosen to extend my life for His purposes.
Yet, I am so grateful for the exhausting roller coaster ride of the last 2 weeks because I now know God to be all that He has claimed to be, all that I had believed Him to be.
I want to testify
■that God in His awesome love for us has given us His Word which is alive and relevant to us right where we are!
■His Holy Spirit comforts in ways that are inexplicable
■His ways are higher than our ways - and so much better
■When God allows His children to go through difficult times, He provides for them EVERYTHING they will need to walk strong.
Do not be discouraged if you are going through a difficult time - God has gone before you, and He is walking WITH you and He has for you all that you need. Surrender to Him all your hurts, fears and anger and allow Him to work in you and through you.
He could have easily allowed me to walk the path of cancer treatment. He had prepared me, and I had surrendered to His will because He had given me the faith to believe Him at His Word. He can give you this same faith for any trial you face and He will walk with you and accomplish great and amazing things.
I am excited for what lies ahead. Every day is now a double gift, and I want to use it for Him.
Blessed be the name of the Lord! As Matt Redman puts it "In the land that is plentiful... when I'm found in the desert place...when the sun's shining down on me...on the road marked with suffering..when the darkness closes in STILL I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord.
I am now 7 months beyond this experience - and the busyness of life, and the stresses of daily living - have tried to rob me of the invaluable lessons I learned. But it only takes a moment to remember - and another moment to readjust myself back to center - and carry on with this gift I have been given - life.
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