Baby Steps

I've been thinking a little about my list of "10 things I want to do". Some of them are "way out there" goals - things that will take a while - like spending a weekend with my brother and sister...that's going to be a little tough, being that we are geographically challenged... and playing my violin with confidence...still have to buy a new one,nevermind practice. However, I do realize that goals without a plan are just dreams. And it only takes a couple of baby steps to get going.

In light of this, I am swallowing my pride, and am placing a copy of a short story I wrote in 2006. It's an allegory and while I've never taken a single writing class (except for in high school...sorry Mr. Kruis!) I have always dreamed of writing.

So! here it is...let me know what you think. And while you are at it, why don't you think about one of those dreams you have and as they say in South Africa "make a plan"!

Steps in the Darkness

The darkness enveloped her. The air felt thick and hot as her body bounced around in the backseat of the car. Her memories of how she got where she was were faint and confusing, but she now knew that every significant moment in her life had lead her to this point.

The blindfold over her eyes was tight, and cut into her cheeks and the back of her head where it was tied. Her hands were also tied together, more loosely, but were somehow chained down around her waist, only allowing her limited movement. There was no chance she would be able to loosen the mask.

Thoughts of the assignment she had been given tormented her. Waves of guilt and sadness washed over her as she relived the many opportunities she had missed to complete her mission. Distractions and complacency had done their duty, keeping her from moving forward. And now, it seemed, there was no hope.

Hours, perhaps even days, went by. The darkness, at first threatening, was now losing its power over her. Instead of panic, she was feeling resignation. Fear over what was ahead no longer consumed her mind…instead she felt numb and tired.

The odd thing about having one of your senses dulled or damaged..the others seem to respond in sympathy and become all the more sensitive. Smells are more pungent or fragrant, sounds more clear. The monotony of those dark numb days was suddenly breaking and she slowly became aware of things she hadn’t noticed before. The hours of the day were now definable – by the sounds of the birds in the morning, the smell of the lunch time meal being prepared in some distant kitchen. Even an awareness of presence began to emerge like a long lost comrade. She could feel things that if proof were needed, she would have none.

As the fog of her resignation began to lift, she found desire once again awakening within her. The question of how to accomplish what she knew she needed to do was something she had spent countless hours considering.

It was early in the day – it was dead quiet except for the sounds of the dove outside the window. She rose carefully from her mattress, testing her feet to see if they still had the strength to do their task. A soft breeze blew in against her cheek and she took her first faltering steps toward it, hoping that it would lead to a door or a window. It was very slow progress at first. The breeze led to a doorway that was partially ajar. Quietly she slipped through, praying that her steps would be silent. She stopped suddenly, aware that the room in which she stood was enormous. Which way was correct? Any turn could spell freedom, or doom. She backed up slowly until she felt a cool wall behind her. Sidestepping, she slid along the wall with her hands pressed to the plaster, feeling the coolness grow colder as she neared the outer doorway. Once outside, she breathed deeply, sensing her destination was within reach.

The warmth of the early morning sun warmed her cheek as she shuffled through the fallen leaves. By keeping the warmth on the left side of her face, she knew she would keep from returning to where she had come from. Distant noises drew her, and the reassurance of the sunshine on her face gave her strength as she walked on. As the morning wore on, the distant noises clarified and became distinct and clear. The sound s of a group of children playing… a dog barking. A song sung by a woman working outside.

A sense of peace flooded her. She knew that not only was she within a breath of escaping the darkness of her confinement, but she had also found the purpose of her journey.

The sun, now higher in the sky, warmed her as she took her last steps forward, knowing that the darkness, as lonely and cold as it was, actually was a tool to take her to where she was meant to be all along.