A New Found Respect

Remember that saying that says something like "Never judge another until you have walked a mile in their shoes"

I can't say I've gone a mile, but the hundred yards or so I have trekked lately has made me really appreciate what some women handle in their lifetimes.

In the 20+ years I have been married to David, I have only held a full time job for about 1 1/2 years - and that was 17 years ago. Since then, any work that I have done (and I promise, I have worked!) has been on a part-time, from my home, in my control basis. No 9-5 office jobs, no rush hour traffic, no having to get all my grocery shopping done on Saturday afternoon, when I'd much rather be doing something else.

These days, however, things have taken on a slightly different hue. Yes, my office is in my home, and yes, I am extremely blessed to have a wonderful lady who comes and helps me keep the housework under control (which is a challenge for 6 messy people and 3 dogs!). Those two things alone are enough to exempt me from any true comparisons to every woman I know in the States who has to work full time with a family to boot. However, I have had a much clearer picture of some of the issues that working mothers deal with, and I am feeling the pain and strain of operating a very busy and growing business while trying to keep my family in a place of happy communion.

I suppose this blog is a bit of a vent - just an airing of my frustration of losing control of my time, and finding that the "tyranny of the urgent" becomes the rule rather than the exception.

While I was thinking about this today, I realized that it is a matter of letting my schedule dictate me, or me dictate my schedule. It's too easy to let the panicked customer, the piles of papers on my desk, the unwashed dinner dishes take control of me, and change me into a grumpy and distracted mommy. The kids have all, in their own way, let me know that they miss the way things were and that the way things are aren't ideal. My favorite part of today was when Allison came up to me, while I was busily trying to cook dinner, read the paper and clean off the counters and said "I need a Mommy hug". I told her I needed an Allie hug. Everything stopped, and we just spent a few minutes cuddling in the middle of the kitchen.

Somehow, I need to find balance and set boundaries on what captivates my time. I know I've been down this path before, but the scenery was a bit different. So, I trod a familiar path, but in a different place than it was before. Hopefully, it won't be a long journey or one with too many obstacles. Hopefully the years of practice and experience will pay off this time and I'll master what is required to accomplish this new phase of my life.