Big Dream

There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman titled "Diving In" When it first came out, it became the song that I would crank up and belt out in my best "only in the shower" voice. The chorus goes something like this...

"I'm diving in
I'm going deep
In over my head I wanna be
Caught in the rush
Lost in the flow
In over my head I wanna go
The river's deep
The river's wild
The river's water is alive
So sink or swim..I'm diving in"

For someone who really likes to know what's coming..to be prepared..to make lists...this is kinda strange. But there is something about letting go that is so awesome.

Since we have made the "stage two" move to Johannesburg, I have been looking around, wondering where I will fit. It was with a bit of wonder that we found ourselves worshipping at a small church smack in the center of what some would call "not the best part of town". In fact, we don't hold evening services, due to the dangers of the area, and the entire church premises are gated with industrial spiked steel fencing to keep out burglars and vandals. Yet, we truly feel that this is where God has placed us.

This last month I have been doing a bit of soul searching, listening and watching. My soul searching has revealed a deep desire to love the unlovely. My listening has heard the Lord calling me to come close to Him so that I can hear Him. And my watching has shown me not an ugly dirty street in front of our church, but a road that carries loads of people who are hungry, cold, and without hope. I've also seen not any empty old hall (our church is really quite old), that stands empty, but one that in my mind's eye is full of people hearing God's word, and being shown Christ's love by the people of our church.

I'm asking God to burn this ministry into my heart, to give me a genuine love for these people who really need to know how much God has loved them. And to give me wisdom in knowing how to minister to them.

It's a big dream that I'm dreaming.. one much bigger than anything I could ever do in my own power... one that I'm going to have to just trust God with... and just dive in!