Caught Between Two Worlds

Experiencing new things has always been exciting for me and has fit well into my philosophy that life is an adventure. One thing I never really took into consideration is how those new things can impact my future, or even my very being.

There are decisions I have made in my life that I look at now and realize have left me caught between two worlds.

Africa has seeped into my blood - our decision to move here was never with the intention of permanency. We always felt that there was a time frame of purpose, then we would return having experienced all God had for us here - then we would go back, hopefully a little wiser and naturally older, to our "old life". While there are things I definitely miss about my home, I think that I will ever have a longing for this place - the people, the culture (yes, even the frustrations) and neither place will ever hold the contentment experienced when I only knew the one

Even when I started working, it was meant to be simply as an assistant in getting David's business off the ground. I love being a wife and mother, however now that we are nearly 4 years into it, I cannot ever picture myself as I once was.

It brings to mind a spiritual truth about being here on earth, yet yearning for heaven. Once we have experienced the truth that is in Christ, the things of this world are no longer as satisfying. We live our life on earth, loving our families, experiencing the beauty of God's creation, yet longing deep inside ourselves for our eternal home.

Does this mean that I wish I had never "tasted" of Africa or that I had never reached for new things? If I had never, then I never would have known the beauty and joy in those new things. And life would be monochrome in it's experience. I long for the full spectrum and cannot wait for the day that I am in the place that is the source of this longing - and where I will find the fulfillment of all these longings, and will still the sense of being caught between.